WoW … Long have I heard and believed in the term “The One”, until I started growing in faith and maturity in The Holy Spirit. Long before the time when I was a born again Christian, I thought that for every person alive there is only “One” life partner that is only suitable for them. Unfortunately, this idea is still widely believed and taught.
Maturity in Spirit
With time, I understood that relationships and living with a partner are completely different than what I had presumed. Like many, I thought that my exact counterpart exists somewhere in the globe, and that we would be reunited somehow by crossing each others’ paths regardless of where we are at this point in time.
Mistakenly, I also thought that since she is my perfect opposite half, we should never contradict each other, and that she would be programmed to my mindset and me to hers as well.
I meant that after all, God has created us both perfectly for each other, yeah? So really there would be no room for error or argument. Right?
Again, wrong perception …
It took me a while to understand after being Redeemed by the Blood of Christ that, there must exist some kind of coherence between life partners who are God-Fearing individuals, meaning those who obey God and honour His will in their lives. When this condition is answered, there must exist harmony, a coherence between those God-Fearing life partners.
Meaning, for them to be able to forgive one another; they should accept the differences of one to the other; embrace each other’s faults, understand one another’s mistakes, weaknesses, feelings, and brokenness. They should love unconditionally; show compassion; step down from leadership position to become their life partner’s servant, in short, they should both become really Christ-like in their marriage relationship.
The Bride and The Lamb
The Lord saw no greater bond than that of marriage for Him to Compare His love to the Church and His loved ones. For Christ so Loved the Church, as a loving husband should really love his wife. When two people enter into a relationship, usually they mistakenly think that the other partner should fill their void, for no apparent reason except that “why did I love or marry you, if you are not going to be my whole…?”
And that’s the problem with maybe 90 per cent of relationships.
We get into relationships expecting the other partner to give, but we are not willing to take part in this giving action, but rather only to receive.
The coherence I’m speaking of has to come from within, it is because I love my partner so deeply, even much more than myself, that I want to give them willingly my all, and this goes for my partner too. Only then, can things really work out …
Because this is such a holy relationship in the sight of God, it became the reason for Him to make the resemblance: “The bride is the Church, and Christ is the Groom”.
That’s how perfect and holy the bride should be, and that’s how perfect the groom should attempt to become.
You see, Christ has set the most perfect standards ever:
Therefore, seek perfection from The Lord Alone.
Keep the Love Alive
When you are in a relationship, the key to success is knowing and understanding very well your partner, their insecurities, fear, needs, wants, passions and, most importantly, what makes them laugh wholeheartedly.
Each one of us has all of the above mentioned qualities and probably even more, but harmony can only exist when you understand each other, when you know each other, when you truly devote yourself for and to each other, not wanting self-gain or any selfish desire, but really pouring out yourself to your partner.
Be alert that such strong bondage can only be fully achieved over time.
That is why a great deal of the marriage relationship has to be devoted to really understanding each another and getting to know each other. Talk as often as you can, go out together as often as you can, see each other in different situations as much as you can.
Just simply, really get to know your partner very well, for this step, when accomplished, will serve you both immensely.
Know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and always try to be the strength in your partner’s weak areas. NEVER gloat or feel superior to your partner should you outperform her or him.
Time is too short guys, don’t waste your time over meaningless, mediocre fights, because when you look back at the situation, you will find it extremely trivial to even revisit the thought. Again, the key word here is “Maturity”.
Try to spend more time on how to build each other, rather than tearing each other down. Be a stepping stone to your life partner not a stumbling block.
Be easy going and step on your pride to let things go smoothly.
That is if you are really keen on keeping this relationship; which by the looks of it, I presume you are, otherwise you wouldn’t have read thus far into the article.
Lastly, but most importantly, cherish and make The Lord Your God the Cornerstone, Backbone, and Leader of your marriage.
Make God the Greater Umbrella that shields your marriage.
Keep The Lord your God on your side always and, by His Grace, you will be able to overcome any differences, regardless of their size or form.
May The Blessings of The Lord Jesus Christ be with you for now and ever more…
Emmanuel Ghali (Mano)
Accredited Christian Counsellor, AACC