Confession is a spiritual means of repentance.
It is called by the church “Sacrament of Penitence”, for it actually leads to penitence if practiced in a proper spiritual way. Confession is not mere words uttered in the hearing of the father priest; it should imply certain feelings that may lead a sinner to real repentance.
A comprehensive confession contains four elements:
1- Confession to God, for David the Prophet said, “against You, You only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Your sight.” (Ps 51 : 4) when we confess we should ask God forgiveness as we say in the Lord’s Prayer, “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” We also should ask God to remove away His anger which we deserve due to our sins, and say: “O Lord, do not rebuke me in Your anger, nor chasten me in Your hot displeasure.” ( Ps 6).
2- Confession to the father confessor, for the steward of God’s mysteries ( 1 Cor 4:1), the messenger of God sent to us (Mal 2:7). We confess to him to receive forgiveness and absolution (Jn 20 :22,33; Mt 18:18), to get permission to partake of the Holy communion worthily (1 Cor 11:27), to receive spiritual guidance, and to feel shame when mentioning our sins before a priest, which feeling may help us abstain from sinning. Therefore the Scripture says, “Confess your trespasses to one another.” (Jas 5:16).
3- Confession to those against whom we trespass. This will certainly remove away anger from such a person’s heart and we then can partake with a pure heart. We learn this from He said in the Sermon on the Mount, “If you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there … First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” ( Mt 5: 23, 24) If you do this every time you do wrong to others, you will be cautious in your dealings and will avoid doing wrong to others.
4- Confession within oneself and admitting one’s sins. This should be the first thing to do, because unless you admit in your heart and mind that you have sinned you will not confess to God, to the priest, or to your brother to reconcile with him, since you are not convinced that you have sinned against him.
Therefore, confessing one’s sin or wrong doing should start within oneself with a feeling of having sinned, a conviction of the act and its details and of the necessity to confess in order to obtain forgiveness and reaching reconciliation with God and people.
Many people do not have this inner feeling, so they do not take any steps towards repentance and confession. Their spiritual measures are probably unsound. They always justify their actions and see nothing wrong in themselves to confess. Some of those consider their wrongdoings as virtues and they pride themselves in them. The Pharisees and scribes considered themselves in the right taking the Lord Christ as an enemy for the sake of defending the Law of Moses and the traditions of their fathers!! In pride and boldness they said to Him, “Do we not say nightly that You are a Samaritan and have a demon?” (Jn 8:48) with such insults they thought themselves speaking rightly!!
A person should therefore be aware that he sinned, and should repent his sin and have a contrite-heart.
David the Prophet wept bitterly over his sin, and with his tears he wet his bed (Ps 6). He was aware that his sin needed washing and cleaning, so he said, “Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin,” “Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean.” (Ps 51)
Those who have no penitence, no feeling of shame or disgrace because of their sins will not benefit from confession. Their confession will be mere words lacking spirit!
With penitence there should be firm determination to change oneself.
There should be determination to abandon all past sins and break all ways leading to them, admitting that sin hinders attachment to God and the dwelling of the Spirit in the heart.
A person who confesses should be certain that he has sinned against God Himself.
Indeed, for sin is disobedience to God and breaking of His commandments. It is revolting and rebelling against God and preferring the love of the world and the flesh to God’s love. But St. James the Apostle teaches us that love of the world is enmity to God (Jas 4:4), and
Since sin is against God, it is unlimited, because God is Unlimited. Therefore David the Prophet said to the Lord, “Against You … have I sinned…”, and did not say: “against Uriah or Bathsheba his wife”. Joseph the Righteous refused to sin, and said, “How could I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?” (Gen 39:9). Put it then in your mind while confessing that you have sinned against God.
Remember also that confession is not a relationship between you and the father confessor, but mainly a relationship with God.
You actually confess to God in the hearing of the priest, as Joshua the son of Nun Said to Achan, “My son…give glory to the Lord… and make confession to Him, and tell me now what you have done…” (Josh 7:19) Also in the Prayer of Absolution you receive absolution from God on the mouth of the priest, and you feel God’s presence during confession. Whoever forgets this will not benefit from their confession.
Moreover, to benefit from confession, one should be aware of the meaning of forgiveness and how it is obtained.
In the past the sinner had to bring a sacrifice for his sin or trespass, Put his hand on its head, and confess his sin (Lev 5:5), being completely aware that it was to die instead of him who deserved death. This meant that the sacrifice represents the sinner, and by putting his hand on it his sin which he confesses is transferred to it.
How does this apply to the Sacrament of Confession? Sin is transferred from you to the account of Christ, and He bears it and removes it away by His blood.
So, you should be aware that forgiveness does not mean that God has waived His right, because the divine justice should be accomplished. How? This was accomplished when Christ bears our sins and abolish them by His blood. This is clear in the words of the Book of Isaiah: “He was wounded for our transgressions … bruised for our iniquities,” “All we like sheep have gone astray …and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.” (Isa 53 : 5,6)
In this way confession is not separate from Christ and His blood. You say to the father priest: O father, I came to you that you may take all my filthiness and put it on the head of Christ to bear it for me; all my sins without exception. When David admitted that he had sinned, Nathan said to him, “The Lord has put away your sin; you shall not die.”; (2 Sam 12:13) where did He put it? On the Lord’s account. You shall not die, because He will die for you. This is the only way for forgiveness, because “without shedding of blood there is no remission.” (Heb 9:22) God hears the sins you confess to Him in the hearing of the priest and transfers them to the account of His only-begotten Son whom to be the propitiation for our sins (1 Jn 4 : 10). The blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin (1 Jn 1:7).
Therefore, every time you confess put before you the blood of Christ, and feel ashamed of Him.
Be ashamed of your filthiness which He the All Holy and Sinless bears for you, “For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” (2 Cor 5: 21).
Such is the real ashamedness which will make you ashamed to commit sin again, not of the father priest listening to your sins, but of the Holy Son who will bear them.
In order that Christ may bear your sins, two things are necessary: faith & repentance.
You should believe in wonderful redemption presented for your salvation, for the Gospel says, “God so loves the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish…” (Jn 3:16)
As for He repentance necessary for salvation, the Lord says, “Unless you repent you will all likewise perish.” (Lk 13:3,5)
Do not ever think that confession without faith and repentance can save you, but combine your confession with regret, penitence, and true intention to change your way. Then you will be worthy of the blood of
Christ to cleanse you of every sin and you will come out from confession washed with the precious blood.
Pieces of e to those who confess:
1- Observe the time, the duties, and the physical condition of your father confessor, and the time of the others who wait their turn to confess. Do not waste the time in long explanation, but prepare your confession with concentration.
2- Know that as far as you open your heart frankly, you will benefit spiritually.
3- Keep the advices of your father confessor confidential as he keeps yours, last you cause him embarrassment.
4- Do not take your father as a means to execute your desires, asking him to consent to your decisions, otherwise you keep arguing, crying, and blaming him, or hiding things which you know he will not agree to.
5- Do not ask him about things not in your benefit to know, such as the policy of the church or certain news.
6- Trust the advice of your father confessor, without forcing him to give you proofs to convince you, which may take much effort and time.
7- Be frank politely if you have any doubts against him. Do not speak to him with hurting words.
8- Do not treat him as an equal to you, or blame him severely, but always remember that you are in the presence of God’s steward.
9- Do not get jealous of the way he treats someone else who may be a special case, and do not press to know about that case. This will be interference in others’ secrets.
10-Do not sit with him frequently to ask about trivial things, lest some would inquire about them and he becomes in a critical situation.
11-Be obedient, wisely.
12-Do not be annoyed when he rebukes you for some fault, nor attempt to justify yourself. Rebuking is for your benefit.
13-If you ask him something and he kept silent, do not take it for consent. It may be embarrassing, revealing others’ secrets or the answer may be harmful to you, or he is tired or the request is wrong.
14-Do not mention only half the facts, but the full fact.
15-Do not turn the confession into complaints from others or talking about Speak only about your own faults.